No character on BTVS, short of Andrew or maybe Spike, ever really took the time to develop a friendship with Anya. No one in the group cared for her that much, and that’s what really made her role in season seven nonexistent.
Xander? He wasn’t just her boyfriend. He was her best friend as well. And he cared about her so much even after they broke up.
To be honest, I won’t fault the Scoobies for not being friends with Anya. She didn’t seem so interested, all she cared about most of the time was Xander. During The Gift, she told Xander that she wanted to run away with him and that she didn’t care about the others’ fate.

How young they were! Buffy was more chubby, I like that. Cordelia was so sexy, Willow was a table with no breasts and her hair was long (I loved her long hair), Xander was a child and Giles had hair!
Xander and Willow are great characters for their individuality and not because they’re just “Buffy’s friends”. They’re characters on their own and that makes them perfect and 3D. They aren’t lousy friends because, gasp, they have lives outside of Buffy!
i honestly don’t get the point of this post…
Xander and Willow get a lot of flak for not being always there for Buffy because they get busy with their own lives. In a lot of TV shows, they main characters’ best friends don’t really have a life outside the main character’s life. They’re just there to serve the main character’s storyline. Xander and Willow, on the other hand, have their own lives and problems and they’re not just created to be Buffy’s best friends.
Tara was the best friend Buffy had. She never judged or shamed Buffy for her choices, unlike Xander and Willow, who expected the world of her, but often turned their backs on her when she needed them.
I would assume this is because Tara and Buffy were never very close so Tara really had no reason to judge Buffy because she didn’t know much about her. Any relationship without conflict isn’t a real relationship at all. There is conflict in relationships because those people care about each other enough to express differing opinions
I don’t think I can agree with you over Tara not knowing much about Buffy. Tara may not be one of the ‘core’ Scoobies, but she was still heavily involved with the group, and as fitsallmyclothes said, Tara’s the one who always seems to really see people. For all that Xander is the ‘heart’ of the Scoobies, and Caleb calls him the ‘one who sees,’ I think that Tara could see far clearer than even Xander when it came to the group. We see this from almost the very beginning of Tara’s introduction to the gang; while the explanation of Tara noting that ‘Buffy’ is off while possessed by Faith involves the unity of her energy, I can’t believe that that’s all there is to it. I also think Tara’s level-headed and calm nature was part of the entire situation, and why she was able to listen and not judge. And I think I’m rambling a bit here… ^^; Sorry.
I’ll also throw in my two cents, however, that I wouldn’t say that Xander and Willow ‘often’ turned their backs on Buffy. Have they done it, yes. There are a few things they’ve done to Buffy that I don’t think I will ever forgive them for. But it wasn’t something that happened ‘often.’
Tara’s ability to see is because she used to be an outsider and became an outsider when she broke up with Willow. It makes sense for people who are outsiders to be able to see through others, just like Spike could be perceptive because he’s an outsider. For example, Tara was in complete denial and didn’t see that Willow was playing with dark forces in the beginning of S6 because she was so close to Willow, but Spike was able to see it. And when Xander talked to Tara about it, she became so defensive and didn’t want to believe it.
So, it makes sense if Buffy, Xander and Willow don’t see and sense each others’ problems and pain because they’re so involved with each other.

